Humor Is The Best Antidote To Insanity

“There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.” 

John Adams 1826

 

 

 Subject: The Affordable Boat Act

Originally posted  on a boating forum -  and hilarious.   The  satire just drips  off of it. 

If people don't see Obamacare for  what  it is after reading this, there is no hope for them!  -

 The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The

 Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST

  purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These

 "affordable" boats will cost  an average of

 $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes,

 trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees,

 fuel,  docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

 

 This  law has been passed,

 because until now, typically only wealthy and  financially

 responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This

 new law ensures that every American can now have a

  "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone

 is entitled to a new  boat. If you purchase your boat before

 the end of the year, you will  receive 4 "free"

 life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

 

 In order to make

 sure everyone purchases an  affordable boat, the costs of

 owning a boat will increase on average of  250-400% per year.

 This way, wealthy people will pay more for something  that

 other people don't want or can't afford to maintain.

 But  to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain

 their boat will be  regularly fined, and children (under the

 age of 26) can use their  parents boats to party on until

 they turn 27; then must purchase their  own boat.

 

 If you already  have a boat, you can keep yours  (just kidding; no you

 can’t). If you don't want or don't need a

 boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to

 buy  one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined

 $800 until you  purchase one, or face imprisonment.

 

 Failure to use the   boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert,

  ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are

 not exempt.  Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor

 lack of desire are  acceptable excuses for not using your  boat.

 

 A government  review board (that doesn't know the difference between

 the port,  starboard or stern sides of a boat) will decide

 everything, including;  when, where, how often and for what

 purposes you can use your boat  along with how many people

 can ride your boat, and determine if one is  too old or

 healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also

 decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness, or if you

  must purchase specific accessories(like a $500 compass), or

 a newer and  more expensive boat. Those who can afford yachts

 will be required to do  so…it’s only fair. The

 government will also decide the name for each  boat. Failure

 to comply with these rules will result in fines and  possible  imprisonment.

 

 Government officials are exempt  from this new law. If they want a boat,

 they and their families can  obtain boats free, at the

 expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and  mega companies

 with large political affiliations are also

  exempt.__________________