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I was 16 when i had an abortion, i am now 19 and still finding it tough especially at night. I think it is absolutley normal that you are upset and i think if you weren't it would be inhumane. Its the worst thing a woman can go through but i also think you are a good person for reflecting on past experiences and allowing yourself to think about what has happened. It is good that you came on here and that is the first step in the right direction. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, even though sometimes it hurts i believe that it will get better. If you want to share your story or talk i am here for you.
i feel really sad to read your story, i imagine what youre going through must be so painful, too painful. thank God, i never had an abortion, but for many years already im being veeery focused to all the possible perspectives of that hard topic.
what i strongly believe is the only constructive, true, positive, full of hope solution, is an active effort to reconnect with your child.
i am a believer (in God), hope you are too, for in that case my story might have a real, senseful meaning to you..
i believe you should persist on praying for your child, even talk to your child in the way: "my dear baby, i feel sad for what i did, ive done a big mistake, i wish it hadnt hapened and that now we would be holding eachother. My dear baby, i can not change the past.
But i can change the future!!!
and i dont want my future without you! i want it and i will have it with you! i ACCEPT you! i have done a big mistake, but the truth is that you are very wanted! and LOVED! i dont want to keep on with my life forgetting you ever existed. you did and you do exist! you are still my beloved baby and i am your mother. and one day we shall meet and spend the whole eternity together! full of hope, im looking forward to that moment!..."
God is good. he forgives. he forgave you. you still need to forgive yourself. i think the only way to do it is through prayer and positive, loving connection with your child.
God is good. i believe your baby is with him. and maybe...
maybe all your baby lacks, within the perfection of heaven, is ITS MOTHERS ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE.
Have you tried going to counseling and talking about it there? Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary that I had my abortion. At the time, I felt that it was the best decision and I still do feel that way but I still feel guilty and have a lot of fears and pain associated with it. As the anniversary approaches, it has gotten harder for me. I started seeing a counselor although it wasn't due to the abortion but as I started feeling comfortable with my counselor, I started talking and even crying about my abortion. It has helped me because I can now talk to my boyfriend about the abortion, which I wasn't able to do before. He was completely against having an abortion and he had said some mean things to me before we actually went through with it. Even though he didn't agree with my decision, he tried his best to put his feelings aside and be supportive but his previous mean comments made me withdrawal from talking to him about it. He is now one of the most supportive people that I have to talk to about my feelings and it helps a lot.
I hope this helps.