Guns Don't Operate By Themselves--Humor

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Remington 870 right in the doorway. I left 5 shells next to it, then left it alone and went about my business.

 

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and a few cars stopped at the stop sign near the front of our house.

 

After a few hours, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there, right where I had left it. It hadn't moved itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people.   Either the media is wrong or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Well, I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.