What Would Happen If The $15 "Living" Wage Becomes Law

McDonald’s Drops $15.00 “Living” Wage Bomb

 Rlgrimes09/08/2014Economic, Entertainment, News, Opinion

In a surprise move CEO Donald Thompson of McDonald’s Restaurants announced they had reached an agreement with the SEIU and would start paying its workers a “Living Wage” of $15.00 per hour the first of October. Mr. Thompson issued a press release stating, “As a company we realize we have been negligent in paying our employees a real living wage for the last 60 years, so in the spirit of social well-being, we have decided to comply with the wishes of the White House and the SEIU.”

The Service Employees International Union spokesman, SeymourPecunia, said that he “was very happy that McDonald’s had agreed to their demands.” He was also hopeful that McDonald’s decision would lead to similar agreements with Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardee’s and Taco Bell.   As the largest retail seller of fast food, the agreement will set a high bar for other fast-food chains to meet.

It is estimated the move will cost the company over 100 million dollars the first year. Much of the cost will be made up in higher food prices according to management sources.  “We have been working on new price guidelines for several months and think we have come up with a workable menu pricing guideline for our franchisees.

This reporter asked if he could elaborate on the new pricing schedule and he gave us the following examples:

Big Mac                       $11.00

Quarter Pounder            12.50

McFish                            8.00

McDouble                        7.00

Large Fries                      5.00

Apple Pie                         5.00

Large Coke                      5.00

We think these prices will enable us to maintain the same high quality of products while at the same time paying the higher wages.  Of course we will be reviewing our profit margins and if we are falling short of our goals, we will increase the prices as necessary. In the interest of family dinning we will still have our very popular Dollar Menu items, but now they will be on the $5.00 Menu.

When asked for a statement on this  major development, the other major chains declined comment, except for Wendy’s, who’s spokesperson, Wendy Thomas, read from a prepared statement saying in part, “After all these years of friendly competition, it will be difficult to see Ronald McDonald in the unemployment line.”

This article is written as Satire, however, more often than not, Satire often predicts the future of major social changes.